Thoughts. (Entry #1)

I guess this shall be the first of many entries. Remember that "Learning Journal" I mentioned a few posts back? Well, I couldn't really think of a good name for it. So I shall just title these posts, Thoughts. which is beautiful enough a name in its simplicity, because essentially that's what these are, just my thoughts; opinionated, uncensored, raw.

 

I've done a lot of digesting this morning, and yesterday morning as well, mostly on current affairs.

 

The whole Syria issue is interesting to follow. Tensions have been high regarding the US' decision for a military strike. I've looked at the 'graphic' footage of the gas attacks in Damascus (though honestly it wasn't that bad -- though perhaps the actual graphic footage isn't so easy to find) and it was disturbing to see the effects of a chemical attack. I saw Obama's national address on the matter (it might be just me, but he seems considerably thinner since I last saw him speak -- then again, being POTUS must not be an easy job) and it was nice to see how much of the people's concerns he took into consideration. His decision to pursue a more diplomatic path, i.e. not resort to military intervention, was a good call in my book.

 

A new Van Gogh painting has been authenticated. I'm really glad to see people appreciate his work (though it's sad to think he's not still around to see it). I'm a bit self-conscious whenever anyone mentions him, because naturally I say I like him, but then I feel pretentious. My fascination with Vincent van Gogh and his work stems from the episode they did on him in Doctor Who, which though was based on his actual life, is still fiction. And it was great way to be introduced as it made me relate and attach myself to him on an emotional level. But from a factual perspective, it probably wasn't the best springboard. I would love more than anything to learn more about his life and perhaps see his works in person, but for now, I will respectfully say that my knowledge on Van Gogh is narrow and limited.

 

September 11, otherwise known as 9/11, has been a significantly remembered date since the event that occurred in 2001. At the risk of sounding very unsympathetic, it has been 12 years after 9/11 and I fail to see why the US feels the need to go to such extravagant lengths to commemorate it. Granted, when 9/11 I was 4-5 years old and had no idea that such a tragedy was even happening so perhaps it's not my place to say. But when you go as far as reading out the names of the 2000+ victims lost to the terrorist attack, it seems a bit much doesn't it? I do believe that what happened was a tragedy, but they are better ways to remember them, better ways to mourn. Especially for those who actually lost someone in the attack, shouldn't their remembrance be something personal? 12 years on, people all still haunted by 9/11, which to an extent is understandable. But when I discover stories of discrimination (against Muslims, people of Arabic descent) still being strongly present then maybe it's time to move on, not completely forget what happened but to at least move forward to a world that's all the more better for it.

 

I realize I have this tendency to zero in on news regarding Indonesia and the Philippines, and to be honest, Singapore news especially regarding the government, policies and public figures. I do think that the Singapore government has gotten their things in order but as I'm not an actual citizen of this pretty cool country, I might be a little blind to the downfalls. Again, not to make my identity crisis syndrome act up, but I think that one reason why I am quite a fan of Singapore (well, most of it, definitely NOT it's education system) is that I've been subjected to the negative torrent of criticism and lack of propriety shown by the Indonesian government and to see Singapore be somewhat well-governed is damn refreshing. I do however, place a lot of hope and optimism upon the land of my forefathers, and though I may not feel emotionally attached to Indonesia, it's good sides, such as it's tradition and culture, is apparent even to me. I even have both the Indonesian and Singaporean flags, which I obtained from their Independence day celebrations (which are just a week between each other), mounted on my wall. (If only I could get a Philippines one somehow). And I guess it serves as a good reminder of the diverse, rolling stone life I lead.

 

Anywaysbacktothenews.

 

Indonesia is gearing up for the 2014 general elections and of course, it's never to early to speculate who will find themselves in the presidential hot seat. It was interesting to see the name Joko Widodo and it actually sounds like a good idea to me. Joko Widodo is quite young for a politician and is currently serving as governor of the nation's capital, Jakarta. He has been making decent progress so far. He's pushing for the railway system to finally see the light of day, he's been cleaning up the streets. And it's refreshing to see new blood try to (hopefully) revamp the corrupt government. There's been some criticism to the very notion of this. Some believe that Jokowi has yet to prove himself, but let me remind you that he's had 5 years experience under his belt from running Solo, and for those who say he isn't even done with 'fixing' Jakarta, any plans for the capital will surely be more effectively run in the president's seat, because if there's one thing the Indonesian government is good at it is at not being able to coordinate.

 

Philippines has been hit by rebel attacks in some villages, and though I'm not completely sure why, I hope that they manage to resolve the problem peacefully, before any more innocent people are hurt.

 

Following Singapore headlines has inexplicably introduced me to what's happened with the IOC (International Olympics Committee). Tokyo has managed to secure its bid as the 2020 Olympics host (yay for Japan!!) and they've just elected Mr Bach as its new head. Now, the elections was especially fascinating as I realize that Asians got some power, man. Ng Ser Miang, a Singaporean, was a strong candidate during voting and seeing what he's done such as introducing the Youth Olympic Games in Singapore a few years back (if I'm not mistaken. I was sadly unable to follow and be more involved in the Games, though I was very supportive of this initiative). It's nice to know that someone is so invested in the youths of today, and also nice to realize that Asians do have a significant presence and authority in the "Western" world and being able to read about people making a difference out there is quite inspiring.

 

Well, I started writing this thing around 11 pm and now it's close to 1 am (what can I say, I got distracted). I am quite satisfied with how this first entry came out, though I should probably be more focused next time. Anyways, if you took the time to fully read this post, then I thank you very, very much and I hope that what I've written gets you thinking. Any comments are welcome (though honestly I'm terrible at keeping up with them).

 

So, 'till the next post then!

 

--Karin Novelia, Trying to Stay Current in a Fast-Paced World

Sauntering Through Singapore (Part 3)

20th of December, 2012

The banks of the river are lined with the towering skyscrapers, stacked masses of steel and concrete reaching up to touch the azure sky. The water is slightly murky, but clearer and definitely cleaner than the rivers back in Jakarta. My eyes are drawn to the black lampposts that are spaced at even intervals. Something about them seems regal, almost out of place as the old-fashioned design is laid against a background of urbanity. I instantly think of Victorian England, and perhaps there is something to that comparison. Singapore is the mini-London of South East Asia, perhaps with a touch of New York about it too.

The Singapore River Walk was incredibly reinvigorating. We started with classes but that soon passed quickly as our excitement mounted and our time of departure loomed closer. We headed out together, taking the MRT from Toa Payoh to the Raffles Place station.

We emerged to a street, posh and modern to the highest degree. Men in suits and ladies in heels walk along the sidewalk, looking professional and busy.

A few statues are scattered here and there.

There's one dedicated to Isaac Newton. A gaping hole can be seen in his head and chest, an artistic expression of 'open-mindedness' and 'open-heartedness', two qualities one requires to survive in today's world. Another is one of a large, non-proportional bird. It's supposed to signify optimism and serenity to propel Singapore's future development.

We walk a littler closer to the riverbed, leaving behind some renowned buildings such as the Maybank Office building and Raffles Point. Another point of the interest that catches my eye are the beautiful white bridges that span the width of the Singapore River. The Cavanaugh Bridge looks like something plucked out of the heart of London. The Anderson is more minimalist in design. A large bumboat passes underneath this bridge carrying a band of tourists with sunglasses on, cameras in hand. By the side of the bridges aforementioned, a sculpture of young children jumping into the river makes one reflect on those days gone by, when Singapore was a humble fishing village with a filthy river and stands as a reminder of the immense progress this country has made.

We encounter more statues on our scenic route, this time catching a glimpse of Singapore's diverse cultural history. There's a display of three people, standing and sitting round each other, engaged in a conversation. One of them is a foreigner, someone from the West; the other of Oriental descent; and the third, a man wearing a Peci, hailing from the lands of Malaysia.

We also took a look inside the Fullerton Hotel, one of Singapore's most elegant establishments. Christmas was just around the corner and so the lobby was decked with holly and merry devour. Again, something about the Hotel's architecture gave me a sense of colonial Britain while offering something modern to the senses as well.

We soon come across a statue of Sir Stamford Raffles, a prominent figure in Singapore's modern development. There were these men with snakes nearby, offering passersby a chance to be adventurous and take a photo with the large, scaly creatures. It was a chance I didn't pass up.

The highlight about of the trip was reaching the Marina Bay area, where the island's iconic Merlion is situated. Though it's a site I've previously visited there's something about the breeze, the sight of the water expanding towards the horizon, the close proximity of architectural feats such as the Marina Bay tower, the Arts and Sciences Museum, and the Esplanade that makes me feel like there's a whole world laid out in front of me, waiting to be explored.

The walk, as I've pointed out, acquainted me with Singapore's culture. It was appropriate then that our final destination was The Peranakan Museum. The term 'peranakan' refers to the new generation of Singapore, those who became the embodiment of different cultures, coming from a mix of different backgrounds and ancestry. We marveled at the antique items on display, each telling a story of tradition that collectively makes up Singapore.

Two hours were spent in that museum and to be honest they passed by in a flash. The idea of living in Singapore continued to grow on me. And if living her meant getting to see, learn and experience new things, then I just might like it here.

--Karin Novelia, Soaking in the Culture

Sauntering Through Singapore (Part 2)

6th of December, 2012 

Whenever someone mentions India, I envision these crowded, smelly streets, the scent of curry pervading through the air. It's a limited picture, I know, but I caught a glimpse of it when we visited Little India today.

Unlike Chinatown, Little India was a part of Singapore I've yet to explore. The opportunity to acquaint myself with it made the experience all the more appealing. 

We got through the first half of the day in class fairly quickly, going through coursework as usual. Once we were dismissed, we set off towards the bus stop in Toa Payoh Central and boarded the 56, headed towards Little India. It wasn't easy, cramming the 20 or so of us into the already packed  bus, but we bucked up and tried our best to enjoy the ride. 

From the bus stop we alighted, then we walked a little farther towards the MRT station underpass. There were rustic murals displayed here and there on the walls, and it certainly felt like a warm welcome to the district. 

We exited the station and found ourselves in Tekka Market. The aforementioned smell of curry soon caught my nose, but not in the delicious scent when the dish is in front of you. It was a myriad of disparate smells that made up the dish's ingredients: the ginger, the coriander and other herbal names which I can't be bothered to recall or make up right now. The market also smelled faintly of fish. When we walked by the sidewalks of the wider streets later, the mixed smells of jasmine, roses and lilies would form a fragrant perfume, emanating from the stalls that sold these leis.

We had lunch together at the nearby food center. I had a go at Nasi Briyani, which was this yellowish-orange rice with a helping of curry drenched meat (I tried the mutton, absolutely delish). Once our stomachs were full, we trekked through the streets again on foot and found were shown this little villa, painted in a splash of eye-catching shades, embodying what Indians are like: colorful.

Just across the road from the Tekka Market Food Centre is a place called The Little India Arcade. It's like this small shopping mall that sells a various range of handmade crafts such as handbags, hanging lanterns, sandals and jewelry.

The Little India Arcade is also a good place to get Henna tattoos. The black ink (which comes in other colors too) sinks into the skin, forming a crusty layer that later peels off, revealing the semi-permanent pattern underneath (it lasts for at least week). The result resembles the surface of a cup of capuchino, only the colors are inverted -- smooth streaks of brown atop creamy, pale, froth-like skin. 

We returned to the food centre to try some Indian cuisine, courtesy of our tour guide. We had some roti prata and teh tarik, the warm salty crunch of the bread and the sweet heat of the tea, making us feel comfortable in the middle of a torrential downpour of rain. 

The final stop in our tour was the Sri Veeramakaliamman temple. The teachings of gods and goddesses, characteristic to the Indian culture,  have always been something I saw interesting. Whether one believes in it or not is another matter, but the values behind the teachings are presented in such a way that is understandable, even enjoyable. 

I've now ventured into two of Singapore's unique ethnic neighborhoods, Chinatown and Little India. Both trips have left me feeling cultured, not to mention grateful at being given the chance to even be where I am. 

Next week, is the final chapter of this little series, and I'll finally see what Singapore itself has to offer as a whole, as we saunter through the banks of the Singapore River and pay a visit to the Peranakan Museum. 

Until then!

--Karin Novelia, 

Sauntering through Singapore (Part 1)

29th of November, 2012

I'm sure I've mentioned before, this English Bridging course me and my friends are taking in preparation for school next year. What I didn't realize, coming into it, were the regular outings we would take, getting out of the classroom and sauntering through Singapore and seeing it in all its splendor. 

Our first stop was a bit familiar: Chinatown.

Beforehand though, we stopped by the Urban Redevelopment Authority (URA) building on Maxwell Road.

The name plaque of the URA building

Here we saw how the city of Singapore, at first a humble village housing fisherman, turned into a lavishing port and not long after, an attractive cornucopia of all things urban.

The section of an illustrated timeline of Singapore, showing its humble
beginnings as a fishing village called Temasek.

The first floor holds a display of a wooden miniature of Singapore. Designs for a Sino-Singapore Tianjin Eco-City Center -- slated to be built in China by 2020 -- which were submitted for a Conceptual Design held by the Eco-City Administrative Committee, were also exhibited. It was so fascinating to see all of the different designs from different countries. There was China's own nature-inspired details, US's colorful theme based on geological mineral stones, and the German's clean-cut artistic blocks. 

A wooden miniature model of Singapore

A snapshot of the Sino-Singapore Tianjin Eco-City concepts

On the second floor of the URA building lies the Singapore City Gallery. 

Here you can learn all about the development process of Singapore, what it takes to make sure a city can blossom, what development techniques can be applied. The Gallery also features a wide range of not informative media, but interactive media as well. There are touch screens which move and illustrate the population comparison between Singapore and other countries, a screen that can show you various places of interest, a set of animations that show intensification and collocation (look it up), a more detailed scale model that boasts a lights show, even a small space where you can a play a multi-player city building simulator game. 

One of the interactive touch screens at the City Gallery

A skyline shot of more detailed scale model of the city,
equipped with a light show that plays every hour

The final result of the city-building simulator game

It's nice to see how well-organized and ingenious people can be. Singapore has done a good job in planning ahead, seen by there use of The Concept Plan and The Master Plan which is meant to map out the country's development for the next 40-50 years. Walking through the Gallery is like walking through an art museum -- there's a certain sort of aesthetics behind the numbers and logistics that goes into building a city, a type of artistic skill that makes Singapore the beautiful place that it is.

The 2008 Singapore City Master Plan, put up for display

Our visit to the Gallery soon drew a close, but the day itself was far from over. We walked quite a bit from the URA building and planned on getting lunch at the nearby Maxwell Food Center. Unfortunately, it was currently undergoing renovations and our lunch had to be postponed for while.

We made our way to South Bridge road, passing by an ornate, oriental building: The Buddha Tooth Relic Temple. It's quite a well-preserved establishment, with its red Chinese-style rooftops, green-painted window grilles towering a good four-storeys high.  I heard it has a splendid altar with a golden statue inside, but I've yet to see it with me own eyes since I was unable to enter. 

Snapshots of the Buddha Tooth Relic Temple exterior

We walked a little further until we met Temple Street. We saw the Sri Mariamman Temple which flaunted this massive and ornate gopuram (something like a pagoda) placed above its entrance. We also passed the local mosque, situated at an angle a bit different from the surrounding buildings, following the Muslim custom of pointing it towards kiblat, the direction of Mecca. 

The Sri Marriaman Temple on Temple Street

The local Mosque

We soon dispersed from the tour group and set off on our own to find something to eat for lunch. Me and my friends found a small hawker's centre that sold all kinds of food, mostly Chinese noodles. Besides that, we shared a plate of chicken martabak, which we disappointingly found out was a bit different from the ones usually sold in Indonesia. Nevertheless, it was still quite delicious. We had some free time to look around, observing the unique architecture and wares the district had to offer.

A snapshot of one of the Chinatown stalls selling a
variety of products from clothes, accessories, toys

 The colorful and well-preserved buildings, showing their Chinese 

influence and architectural details stemming from its colonial past

Another wonderful thing about Singapore, is the importance they place upon preserving their historical and cultural heritage. As we walked we could see statues and landmarks that might seem insignificant at first, but in truth embodies a period of Singapore's rapid development.  

There was a statue in front of URA building that depicted a woman, carrying something on her shoulders. This is one of Samsui women who came from Cantonese. They wore red head-dresses and loose black samfoos, those Chinese-style jacket and trousers. They seldom married and usually did heavy labour, which was inspiring, seeing the way women back in those days could be just as hard-working as men, doing work outside the home. 

Another of the statues were brass ones, depicting coolies who did heavy labour such as construction work, farmers and even little children surrounding a nearby pond.

A stone statue of a Samsui woman 

Statues of children from China, playing near
a man-made pond in the middle of Chinatown

The last stop was Ann Siang Hill, name after its previous owner, Chia Ann Siang. It used to a plantation farm, a place where they grew spices such as cengkeh and pala. This well was once the only place that supplied clean water for the area.

The humble well that sits atop Ann Siang Hill

I found myself sore and tired at the end of the day. But today has shown how much I can learn and experience in Singapore, and I can't wait for our next learning journey next week: Little India.

I'll tell you all about it soon enough. 

--Karin Novelia, Enjoying the Sights

Blogging on Foreign Land

Today is a momentous occasion. It's December 14th, 2012, and the one-month milestone of my time here in Singapore. It's been a blast here so far. I'm currently going through an English Bridging Course right now, and with 10-hour sessions from Monday-Saturday, let's just say it's been challenging. 

I've really begun to rediscover myself here. I'm not as quiet as I used to be since I'm constantly in the company of other people. Being forced into close proximity with about 18 other crazy gals does keep one up all night, but I'm strangely also sleeping better. I guess the only thing I'll miss is the peace and quiet of my own room (even though it doesn't stay that way once my sister comes around). Finding time to just recuperate alone and gather one's thoughts isn't as easy, but it's not exactly a bad thing either. 

I'm loving have my own room. It's spacey, and actually stays tidy after I clean it up. The soft board that covers the wall on my side of the room is still bare, but I'm hoping to 'nerdify' it as soon as possible and making it feel like home. Meals here are wonderful, though do little to reduce the waistline. Housework, laundry especially, is a bit tedious, but it feels nice to be doing things on my own. I need to get into athletics, and although volleyball might seem like an implausible option, I feel an intense urge to play, somehow. Been hitting the gym in CJC, the Junior College right next to my hostel, CJCH, for the past few weeks every Tuesday, but since Christmas holidays are looming near, the supervisor (the hostel mistress' husband) won't start taking us again until next year.

I've also learned to put things into perspective -- just because I was seen a certain way back in Indonesia, doesn't mean I'll be perceived the same way here. Same goes for studies. I need to remind myself that although things might not seem as hard here, it's still a different system that I need to get used too and whatever I've faced in the Bridging Course so far will be probably be the easiest, 'honeymoon' phase. 

Good news though is that the Course really encourages reading and I've gone through 6 books (5 really, cuz one was just... crap). Best reads: Life of Pi and Cloud Atlas. Genius. Also relived a childhood favorite, Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass. Am currently reveling in Tolkien's The Hobbit.

Speaking of The Hobbit, I'm likely definitely going to see it this weekend. I'm so excited, I-I just can't... What I love about Singapore is it's convenient transportation. Back in Indonesia, I always had to worry about getting around, especially on weekends when I wanted to hang out with my friends in Jakarta, which was a bit far. Here on the other hand, I can easily find my way to any place I want. That makes it especially easy to watch movies. The first movie I've watched was Breaking Dawn Part 2 (don't ask) but that was quickly redeemed by a double feature of Life of Pi (the aesthetics were amazing!) and Rise of the Guardians (JACK FROST FTW).

... Am I spending too much on movies? Nah. Even if I am, then blame Hollywood for producing such wonderful cinematic gems. 

A roller coaster ain't a roller coaster without some downs too. Worst thing that happened here so far? Being disappointed with my class allocation. I was put in a class with a Full Literature class (which I'm not really sure how I'll manage, since I've never taken such a Lit class before) but also was told to make a choice between Physics or Biology. There's another class with the exact same subject list, only they take both Physics and Biology. Although I'm not pursuing a career that would require either one, I got used to taking both in my old school, and ambitious as it may seem, I see those subjects as something that needs to be learnt, at least in its most rudimentary form, and have actually grown to like them. Both. 

It's pretty late now. I'm not sure if my body is recoiling against the one-hour loss of sleep, but I should turn in so I can at least survive tomorrow. Don't worry, with my oral presentation done by then, I'll be back soon to tell about all of my city adventures.

Until the next post then.

--Karin Novelia, Recently Moved (Again)

And It All Comes Down To This

It's been 3 months now into the year 2012. Maybe it's a bit too early, but seriously, things have been pretty hectic around here. The 9th grade really kicked itself up a notch by throwing an array of tests, quizzes, Tryouts, Practical Exams and drama, and I must say I'm a bit overwhelmed.

Most overwhelming thing of all? Well, I'm not sure if I've written anything about here before, but I signed myself up for a scholarship application in Singapore. And guess what? I got it.

Now, before you throw congratulations around, I'm still not sure how I feel about this scholarship thing, about a month later since signing a damn contract.

First of all, the test was a bit... easy. Mathematics weren't always my forte, but the limited time also was a main factor in me not finishing the 2 hour test of 30 something questions. The English one was also surprisingly easy. The other applicants in my school took a special preparation course called Ignatius, and the kind of question they gave them were far more advanced then what was being tested.

I honestly did not expect me to get a chance at that scholarship. I mean, I was in the mindset that the standards would be very high. And passing, well... makes you wonder doesn't it?

After the written tests, I was asked to come to Hotel Atalia for an interview. I skip school the next day, but it turns out I have no ride. Rotten luck, you'd probably think, right? Wrong. I was thinking it was the world conspiring, strengthening the idea that this scholarship thing wasn't meant to be.

And then my Mom goes into super mode and orders us a cab. Interviews weren't that nerve-wracking, though the wait was boring and prolonged. Speaking in English was definitely an advantage, and a few hours later the results were posted and ta-daa! My name was on it.

Of course there was some sense of mirth. I practically tried bailing on interviews, I get the scholarship anyway. Twisted kind of punishment, I suppose. Then there was a tad sense of accomplishment. I did it. I actually got it. Then of course, the whole ease of it all nagged a the back of my mind, and I was starting to wonder if it was going to be worth it in the end.

So why did I end up signing my name? Not for personal reasons, obviously.

When I first considered applying, I asked my parents, of course. But as usual, they provided adequate freedom and close to no input. So I figured I'd apply. I didn't expect to get it, anyway. If I did, did that mean I have to take it? I later found out that I sort of had to. Something to do with courtesy and social niceties and avoid being blacklisted, which I still cannot manage to fully comprehend (inner sociopath talking, guys).

I also pondered on the slim chance that I did get accepted. A few factors did jump at me. First, the financial burden would be almost non-existent. On a full scholarship. That meant my parents wouldn't have to spent so much money on my education. Speaking form the heart, my family's not exactly poor, but their not like most kids whose parents make so much more.

I'm taking this scholarship more for them than me. I can still remember the look on my Mom's face when I told her. She looked so happy, so relieved. She also looked at me so... proud.

Sure, the prospect of living on my own, more independantly, appealed to me, as I continued to talk myself into this. But it also seemed a bit lonely. A proper school, with proper facilities and a better curriculum, would help bring out the best in me. Wasn't I always feeling so unchallenged here? But it also seems like a lot of pressure.

When ever I feel like bailing, giving up, not set myself up for a life of stress and expectations of perfection, and opt for settling for a live a little more ordinary. A little more safe.

Hell. What was I thinking? I'm through with being ordinary. I want to be extraordinary. I want to go far.

But as much as I want to be the best I can be, something keeps on asking me to stay. My family. I practically act as the glue for the disfunctionality. If I left, how long would they last before they unravel?

Would it be worth it to go abroad, study, become highly-educated and successful and perhaps rich and famous, but leaving my family behind albeit for just a few years? Or would it be better to stay and just look after them, settle for being an auto-dictact and learn about the world from the confines of home, as long as I stayed with family?

I'm getting a little emo here, I know. In hindsight, it might be better to vent here than to start talking to a skull.

Laterz.

-- Planning Out The Future, Karin Novelia

So Much To Look Forward To

New Year's Eve has always been celebratory. You go out, have a nice time, milking the last few hours in the year for what it's worth. You can't help but be a little nostalgic and reflect back on the year. Can you believe it? Another year has just gone by, poof, just like that.

And honestly, my year has definitely been one hell of a ride.

Keeping a blog was one thing I always was determined to keep. It's like this diary of mine, a record of what's happened, something I'll want to read back on in the future, something that will show me, and others, what has happened in my life, what I've gone through and what progress I've made.

I spent the last few days re-reading my old blog posts, and honestly I'm just about close to tears. So in this 2011 recap post, I'll be attaching links of related posts throughout. I'm not sure how to recap this year, since I've really already written most of what happened into those individual posts.

When I first wrote this blog, I was in 7th grade. I had just begun to adjust my self from Elementary School life to Junior High, and it was a bigger leap than I thought.

The thing is about 6th grade, it's that I finally found my niche. Having moved here to Indonesia, from the Phillipines during 3rd Grade, it was like starting all over again. New school, new friends, new country, new life...

Back in the Philippines, I had what you called a sheltered life. I didn't get out of the house that often, my parents have always been protective of me. That perhaps affected my socializing abilities. I wasn't exactly shy, but I wasn't really inclined to put myself out there either. Since I went to a sort of 'International school' the foreigners were put together in the same classes, so my social cirlce only circulated between those 2 foreigner classes. I already had made a best friend, one that goes back to my very first day of school, and I grew attached to her, and our small group of friends. We weren't outcasts, but we weren't 'popular' either. We were just us, original and special in our own way, and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

So the move to Indonesia was sudden, and slightly painful for me. People thought I was quiet simply because of a languange barrier. I had yet to be fluent in Bahasa Indonesia. By 6th Grade, that did change. I was comfortable now speaking Bahasa Indonesia, and it seemed that I had slipped into a leadership role in the class of 6B, even though I wasn't class president or something like that. I felt my efforts were appreciated, and that I was given the chance to be my best.

7th Grade shifted the game completely. Things just change. People become slightly more superficial, social status comes into play as we enter teen-hood. The people I once hung out with in 6th grade, started to become people who were out to take me down. I just didn't like it. The whole popular groups beginning to surface, I was prepared to be an individual. I didn't have a problem spending time on my own, I've always been like that. I was a self-proclaimed nerd, and looking at my blog posts a bit 'alay' with all the laughter, LOLs and slight craziness. Hahaha.

But I was hopeful, naive, innocent and still giving my best in the things I did, even things that many didn't believe in or thought was 'uncool'. My naivety seems to have faded over all the crap happened, but my child-like hopefullness is sometimes what keeps me going.

8th Grade, things started to become better. AYC has helped me find myself in such profound ways, it was the experience that made me a better person. I didn't feel restrained, I was given the chance to try my best, though it wasn't easy thing to do with my confidence level so low after 7th Grade.

Making friends was starting to become a challenge, with people starting to conform  to what's 'socially accepted' and pretend and divert from keeping it real. I had a slight betrayal pop up in the 7th Grade, but it taught me to forgive and forget, learn from the past and all that. This was just a crazy year for me. I found myself in my first relationship, making a new group of friends, and experiencing what was arguably one of the best classes I've been in, perhaps even better than my days in 6B. Of course, drama had to pop up too, once the 2nd semester started in 2011. The whole 'Whispers of the Crowd' twitter fiasco thing just... ugh. I'm still cringing when I remember it.

It's kinda tough rereading through my 2010 New Year's Resolutions, and seeing not many of them accomplished or improve by much. Meh.

My family problems are not things I display publicly, but let's just say, 2011 has been challenging in that prospect. The restraints seem to have gotten tighter, and though I love my parents to death, there starting to misunderstand me and my intentions even more. But I have had one of the most memorable family vacations, that made me realize that no matter what, I wouldn't stop loving my family.

Friends? Like I said, friendships have become hard to maintain. I don't like it when a friendship ends, but if it isn't really working out, or stays the same as before does anything really need to be forced? Of course, though some things have fallen out, it's nice to know who my real friends are. SHOUTOUT TO MY ONE AND ONLY SMOOCHIE: CINDY WIJAYA! :D You're awesome, girl, and have always been there for me, even if it's been like forever since we hungout. You're the one who knows all my secrets, the one person I can vent to without being judged. Love you for life :*

School: Well, entering the ninth grade, I didn't expect things to be easy, but I didn't expect them to be so hard either. I was being super optimistic, like this post points out. I was looking forward to a busy year, helping the new generation of AYC, and keeping the action plan going. I had very well 'taken the pledge'.

Turns out, 9B is an eclectic mix, just a little bit of everything and of course things are kept interesting with the friction that's bound to spark from such big, conflicting personalities. Sir Darma has been an awesome teacher. I know not many students like him, due to his tendency to be a perfectionist, but I can see past that and admire him as teacher who's just trying to do his job. He constantly reminds me that he's looking for a 'leader' in the class, but I don't know why that person has to be me. I'm not in the mood for it, especially in those dark days at the beginning of 9th Grade (partly to due to the breakup). I guess this year, I just wanted to shove everyone's expectations down the drain, stop being so hard on myself, stop trying to impress other so much and do thing's for me. I've paid attention to other people's needs for so long, maybe I just wanted to be a bit selfish this year. Though I guess that didn't last long. Haha. Like I've said, I'm too nice for my own good.

The highlights though were of course, LUMOS MAXIMA and then Teacher's Day.

Oh, and we can't forget the Love Story now, can we? 2011 was the first year I entered being in a (at the time) very hopeful and established relationship. Of course, drama followed in the last days of 8th Grade and over summer break, I had well... broken up. First heartaches, first break-ups are inevitably messy, and though I handled things well, I just kinda wished I handled things better. Like I said before, I'm an individual. I'm not a stranger to time spent alone. But suddenly losing (in a really jerk-ish way, I might add) a boyfriend -- a friend -- and all the feelings of consistency, and having someone to rely on, that of course wasn't easy.

And then entering 9th Grade, with work that I welcomed as a distraction, I was just feeling a little lost. There was the whole retreat thing, and me almost catching a 'rebound' guy but realizing that was simply horrible, and wrong. Last night, I also realized these deep feelings, for a friend that was a strong and close friend at first, but is now coming close to an ex-friend. I've written a letter to 'him' which was a good way to vent, but I'm still not sure where we stand.

Culturally and knowledge-wise, I've learned alot in 2011. I've been caught in some awesome range of TV shows from the dramatic-thiller Pretty Little Liars to the kiss-ass Sherlock on BBC. I've gone beyond just watching things to analyzing them, getting more and more curious about the behind-the-scenes process not just in TV shows but in block-buster movies as well. I'm an official movie-junkie now, just beginning to scratch the surface of cinematography.

My taste in music has also quickly expanded. I've been downloading tracks like crazy, clogging my hard-drive so fast it's basically killing the processing speed of my laptop. Noel Gallagher, The Wanted and Coldplay are a few of my most-played. I've also taken an interest into classical music, tried a bit of Tchaikovsky pieces, being drawn to the ballet-performance aspect of their uses combining the ear-pleasing compositions with visual impact. I'm thinking of trying some Chopin next, since it reminds of that PS3/Xbox360 game 'Eternal Sonata' which revolves around a fantasy world loosely based on 'Frederic Chopin'. I'm strongly attracted to playing the violin now, though it's a bit of a long shot to start taking up lessons.

Reading has sort taken a backseat to all my busy-bee days, but I'm starting to make sure that will change. I've been spending most of my holidays reading novels, the most recently finished was 'The Power of Six' the sequel to 'I Am Number Four' and next on my list is the "Peter Pan and the Starcatchers" series :) I'm also planning to spend more time reading and analyzing classics, starting of course, with the works of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. I love how the Sherlock Holmes series is so quotable.

Besides the fictional fluff, I've been hitting a few informational books as well. Forensics science has always been an interest of mine (blame all those CSI shows, detective games and most recently Sherlock) and I'm simply sifting through articles, building up on the terminology which is of course advancely complicated. I've also started studying up on horticulture and classification of plant-life (my homeroom teacher does major in Biology).

And then there's writing, this old passion of mine. I have been keeping the pen sharp, joining my school's Skill Development Class for English Creative writing and picking up on a few of my short stories. I've also been studying the art of script-writing for well, let's just say slightly confidential purposes. For now ;)

2011, has been a tough, yet fun year. Lots of mall escapades, and 'productive hangouts' (as a friend put it) to remember on with a laugh. A lot of time spent driving away cases of boredom, having a lot of emotional feelings, and quiet nights on holidays. All of which is fine, since I'm discovering more about myself everyday.

Many people think of 2011 as one of the worst years. Maybe it's because 2012, 'the end of the world' is coming, and expectations are being set too high. The optimist inside me wants to disagree and say '2011 has been a wonderful year!' but the realist inside me solemnly agrees. Yes, 2011 has definitely been a crappy year, all in all.

There were many days spent with me keeping my head down, not feeling myself. But that gave way to feeling of optimism and days where I started looking up.

But when you've hit rock bottom, where is there to go but up?

In a nutshell, that's been my 2011. I've gone through a lot, emerging through the end of the year a much more stronger person than before.

It's okay to look back, have flashbacks and remember all the memories you've had. But don't you ever, ever let that stop you. As the inspirational Chris Colfer said, "Despite such a current challenging time, there is so much to look forward to."

"I promise, it gets so much better."

--Karin Novelia, Looking Forward To A Better Year :)

Constant State of Boredom

Christmas holidays have come. I wasn't exactly looking forward to it, since I knew I wouldn't be going out much. And as I'm writing this, I'm sitting at home. There's nothing good on TV, nothing to snack on, nothing new to watch, and absolutely nothing to do.

In the words of the great Sherlock Holmes: "Dull."

I've even spend the last two days, over the course of an all-nighter that lasted until 2 am, to work on a Mathematics book that a group of friends of mine are compiling for some volunteer work. After the whole AYC thing, of course, I'm determined to keep our action-plan going. We're planning on helping their education, mainly in Maths, by writing our own book designed to help them get through their National Exams.

But the point is, I just started off my holiday not relaxing but doing work. It's not really suprising to me. That when I have nothing to do, I get this intense urge to do something productive. And those urges completely override any wants of watching TV, reading, eating or even sleeping. The last two just slow me down.

When I get bored, which is often, my mind goes to some pretty deep places. I think about things that, I guess, no one my age barely considers. I have always felt like there's something more than this mundane ordinance. All I really want is to feel something, do something extraordinary with my life.

I often say that I feel caged. Undoubtedly, it's true. Do people really think they have the right to belittle me? Just because of what, I'm a kid? Whenever I see people with talent, charisma, beauty and resources, the things that many people don't get a privilege to have, throw all their opportunities away, it pisses me off. I envy them, and berate them for being so stupid, so lethargically unmotivated.

I can't help but feel the need to scream just to be heard. To let the 'adults' see that I'm just not a normal teenage girl. To let them see that I have the motivation, the right intentions, the will to push myself and become someone that maybe comes close to perfection. Someone who will do anything to help the world, help make things better. A moot point, though. Words prove little compared to actions, so I'm left with these lingering silent screams in my head. All the while, I'm just searching for a way to prove that I am something great. Proving it more to myself, than the world, as I'm beginning to realize.

While I was working on that Math book, I kept reading back the first pages I wrote, summarazing the standard National curriculum. I kept on thinking that it was sloppy, rushed and just... bad. Perhaps, due to the fact that I set a pretty high bar for myself. But when I showed a friend, he said he was very surprised. He wasn't expecting me to have done so much in so little time. He also commented that I'm "damn good". Maybe I'm a better person than I give myself credit for.

I have a tendancy of brushing off comments like that. Like when someone congratulates me or give me kudos on getting top scores in my class, or for making a paper mache sculpture of a snowman, I politely say "Thank you" but then think "It's no big deal". Which really, it isn't. It's like no matter how well I do here, in my current environment, there's always something bigger waiting out there. Something more stimulating, more challenging.

I read on a Tumblr post once a quote that roughly goes like this: "Intelligent people are often depressed about the world, because they're they few people who understand how it really works."

Depressed. Now, that's a world that seems to have been popping into my head awhile. Not just recently. Ever since I moved here, there's always been this feeling of not belonging and being on my own. Not to say that I'm intelligent, really I'm not. I mean my Finals this term seem to have taken a nose dive. I may not comprehend algebra, or the property of cylindrical quadilaterals, but I do have a thirst for knowledge. A thirst to find somekind of meaning in life, which is starting to seem more obscure by the second.

I want to know how the world works. I want to go out there and explore. I spend so many days in the classroom, resting my chin on my hands, rifling through textbooks which I've read in advance, thinking that I'm learning things without being shown how to put them to good use. I daydream, thinking that I can do so much better. Though I enjoy learning, this pace is just too slow. I keep imagining myself in a life, where I'm being the best I can be. And I want that, so bad.

But for now, I'm bored.

--Karin Novelia, Feeling Dull.

A Teacher's Promise

I found this link:

http://edition.cnn.com/2011/09/06/living/teachers-want-to-tell-parents/index.html

It's a CNN article about "teachers VS parents" and it really got to me. I for one, believe in education, and seeing people who dedicate there lives to educate others get cut down like that...

No wonder Mr Shuester from Glee feels like such an underdog.

This is a view written by an American teacher, but the trials and conflicts that most of them face as a teacher is something universal. It's not hard to imagine many teachers all over the world feeling the same thing.

Take a read, and see what you think about it. If you're a student, I suggest you start respecting teachers a bit more. If you're a parent, I suggest you start being a teacher's partner instead of their reason to quit. They are of course, just trying to help you educate your child.

And if you're a teacher, bravo. I deeply respect you profession and your role in this world.

One day, I'm gonna be a teacher. Maybe not one that works behind a desk, in just one school, I'll do it in my own way. Main point is, I wanna to educate, just like a teacher does.

Special thanks to my teacher, Mr Yudi Atmanta for posting the link on Facebook for me to see :)
--Karin Novelia, Teacher By Heart