One in The Same

Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same -- All At Once by The Fray

Everyone at some point in their lives knows what it's like to lose yourself in your dreams. To immerse yourself so deeply in your delusion and fantasies that it's easy to lose touch with reality. One day you decide that simple imaginings aren't enough. You want your dreams to be real.

Getting to that point, the point where your dreams actually do come true isn't easy. But that's the problem with people these days. They always want the easy way out.

Maybe this will sound self-praising, but I've been there. I've tried to do things the hard way, actually put in the work. And it was absolutely crushing when you stop and realize that you are the only one who truly cares, that still cares about this thing you've put your heart and soul into because for once you thought Hey, I'm actually doing something with my life!

Disappointment and failure tend to bring out the worst in people. It makes them bitter, jaded and trust me, I know. It is through that sadness that we react by trying to find something to hold on to, that last flickering flame of hope.

We wish things weren't so hard, but let's face it, they are.

I've happily spent my extended holiday in my own little bubble. Having these days off while my Dad, brother and sister still have to go to work and school inevitably gets me stuck at home, which can be suffocating sometimes (the boredom can settle in pretty fast) but it gives me a chance to sort of recuperate and reevaluate my life.

Perhaps an example might help. People who may be classified as 'hopeless' romantics have this hopeful mind-set: "Someday I'm gonna meet The One. The one person who will accept me and love just the way I am. Who will make me feel good and amaing and see perfection in my flaws. That person will remind me that I am worth loving."

Don't get me wrong. It's a lovely sentiment, but people can cling to it like it's the only option. Like all you have to do is wait and it will come to you. And it seems tempting that way, it seems easier.

Sometimes life demands more than that. More than a mere desire, more than just hope.

I mean think about it. While you're sitting there dreaming of The One have you ever stopped to think that you are The One for someone, somewhere out there? That maybe, just maybe, while you're keeping both eyes open so you won't miss The One, you weren't able to be that for someone who could've been the love of your life?

What I'm trying to say is, there are certain paradigms which aren't wrong (not at all) but can become blinding when people look at things one-sidedly. It's okay to dream and have hope and sort of let the world conspire to help you, but you can't expect that to keep on happening on its own.

Instead of wishing to meet the perfect person for you to fall in love with, why don't you shake things up a little today and try to be that perfect person, be someone who is worth loving?

Instead of sulking around and wishing people would be more understanding towards you, why don't you try being more understanding towards other people?

Life is all about perspective. It isn't wrong to see things in a certain way, to see things your own way. But as I've come to understand more and more, taking a new spin things will definitely surprise you.

I've been becoming quite productive this holiday. I've pledged to become more athletic and I can really feel the effects. I feel far more energetic and have some decent stamina. I've taken to swimming which is waaaay relaxing (though for some reason I haven't lost any weight :|) I'm also planning on taking a nice long jog tomorrow morning, like when it's still a bit dark out and just beautifully calm, with a nice playlist to keep me company and just, you know, take in the sights, breath in the air.

I've also been happily channeling my inner geek this holiday too. Blame the Avengers movie (WHICH WAS AWESOMELY EPIC, by the way) for fanning the flames but I've always believed in Superheroes! :)

Now if I can only find a decent comic-book store nearby...

Movie-hysteria has also set in. Actually having time to have an uninterrupted movie marathon turns out to be overwhelming. Where do the world do I even start? But I have found a few visual gems so expect some reviews soon :)

Then of course... there's writing. It's been a love-hate relationship between me and my craft so far. I can think out main concepts and draw them out but when it comes to writing the actual story, I basically am at a lost of words and go asdfghjkl;!

It's a bit pain-staking but I'm getting there, overcoming my writer's block.

Graduation's coming soon. I'd figure I'd be all sappy and nostalgic with the inevitable goodbyes to come but this time, I'm actually readily accepting of the future. Hopefully that's a good thing, so let's just call it progress.

Freedom's just around the corner for everyone (though yes, I have had an early start) so I'll just jump the gun and wish you all a very happy holiday!

And as always, thanks for reading!

-- Happily on Holiday, Karin Novelia :)

Who You Love, Who You Fight For and Who You Are

One aspect of human nature, which I find slightly disturbing, is our constant habit of labeling things. Not in a Sheldon Cooper like obsessive-compulsive way of labelling inanimate objects, but labeling human beings in mostly prejudicial ways.

You look at someone and start forming your opinions. You might notice their excessive body fat and assume they're lazy, insecure. You might make fun of them. You might joke around and call someone a name, in a way so ignorant that you may not realize that you're saying something that really hits home.

"I was called a faggot. I was called a homo, a queer. It was scary going into that building realizing these kids were taunting me with a word that was so close to the truth." -- Ryan Kendall in "8".

Homosexuality has been a controversial topic for years now, being the highlight of court battles, the basis for criminal sanctions and fuel for the discriminative flames of schoolyard bullies or even narrow-minded adults. The fact that the taunts thrown at them (in rude and inexcusable ways) are actually true, can only send someone over the edge, make them question who they are.

The quote above is taken from a legal-drama play called "8" which I found on Tumblr and watched on Youtube (a link to the video here). It is based off the transcripts of the trial that opposed Proposition 8, a ballot-initiative in California that banned same-sex marriage rights to citizens who were already enjoying them. It was absolutely captivating, with a live-streamed reading by a star-studded cast whose mere voice acting and subtle body language did justice to the true emotional essence that drove the historic trial to victory.

Personally, in Indonesia, you don't hear much about LGBT trials or cases. The majority of Indonesia (being Muslims) are highly religious, and it is based on those religious beliefs that homosexuality is considered wrong, in some provinces even, a crime. There is a lack of activity on the LGBT rights front, but I'm speaking from personal experience that there is at least one homosexual person in this country, and I bet that in reality there is much, much more.

What does homosexuality have to do with legal rights? Well, in most legal constitutions, the group homosexuals aren't explicitly addressed. Perhaps in a world where we all are open-minded and unfamiliar with the concept discrimination, homosexuality would not even be an issue. But it is, mostly because it is widely unaccepted in society. So, a chism has emerged from both sides of the story: people who, gay or otherwise, support LGBTs and people who don't. The people who don't accept homosexuality are finding ways to supress it, deeming it wrong and susceptible to harassment.

You ocassionaly hear someone being beaten because of their sexual orientation. Being called a freak, a faggot, far too many times that it causes them to take their own life. It's the cases like these, the discrimination and the harassment, that has pushed people to take a stand. To tell people that this is not okay and homosexuals do not deserve to be treated like that. The law is a indisputable concept developed by man which protects and creates order. Where else should these matters be taken to other than court?

Proposition 8 focuses on marriage, and it really gets you thinking. What makes gay people so different from heterosexuals? What makes them abnormal? What gives us the right to deprive them from a life of love? The Prop 8 trial focused on the definition of marriage and that it strictly had to be between a man and a woman.

Those words and definitions are man-made concepts. We're human, we make assumptions, make mistakes. Whose to say that we are not mistaken with our ideas that marriage can't be homosexual? Who can tell whether or not it will change the very core of society? Are we so arrogant to carve these paradigms into stone, without considering that change is bound to happen? In the play you'll see the defendants (the defenders of Proposition 8) have a hard time delivering their argument. Same-sex marriages or relationships are not doing any harm.

"It's not about who you're attracted to, it's who you fall in love with." -- Holly Holiday from Glee on sexuality.

Have you ever fallen in love? I, myself, don't think I have yet. How would you feel if someone told you that your love is something wrong? That this relationship that makes you feel good about yourself, makes you feel complete, is an abomination to nature and is publicly admonished? What can you even do when falling in love is something out of your control?

Love is something inspiring. And it's in my opinion that homosexual love, is the most inspiring of all. Despite all the negativity, the bigotry, these two people deemed by society as freaks or mentally-ill, come out and truly be themselves, express their love for each other in a way that is pure, touching and in the end, enduring.

I know that homosexuality is a very touchy issue, but I feel that I had to write this post on it just to let people know where I stand with it (being open-mindedly opinionated as I promised). I know that many people might not agree with me (just seeing gay couples on TV makes most of my friends disgusted).

So this is what I think -- no, this is what I believe. Homosexuality is okay. It doesn't make them any less better than heterosexuals. They are confident in who they are and we shouldn't ask them to change their ways, or pretend to be something they're not. We should not make it seem like they should be condemned, we need to make sure that they feel accepted and happy, like every human being has a right to be. They're human. Just like me and you. They might seem different, but they're not wrong.

Most might find homosexuals to be scary or feel it makes them uncomfortable, and you know what, that's okay too. We've spent most of lives seeing opposite-sex couples that same-sex ones seem foreign to us, outside of the norm. But do not ever let that fear or prejudice become an excuse for degrading a person's dignity. Do not ever make someone feel worthless when they are simply being who they are.

I don't care if your straight, gay, transgender or bi. Live the life you want to live. Love who you want to love. Marry who you want to marry. Be who you want to be.

Who you love might determine your sexuality. But your sexuality doesn't determine who you are as a person. No matter who it is, who you love will ultimately become who you fight for. Who you fight for, in the name of love, determines who you are. And that makes you human.

So take my advice. Don't hate. Be human.

I find that I get really emotional when it comes to this topic, so emotional that it clouds my heads and hinders me from fully conveying my feelings on the matter. I just hope that I make sense in what I've written, though I'll admit that I am no expert in the historic or legal or politic aspects of homosexuality rights. I'm just a person who thinks that discrimination is wrong, and urge you all to think the same.

Thanks for reading.

--Dreaming of a World Free of Hate, Karin Novelia 

The Benefits of Lying

I'm taking a writing skills development class (or what my school calls KIR), and our assignment this week was to write about a weird/unrealistic scenario. It was a struggle to find the right topic. When I found a nice one, "What if people never aged over seventeen?" it turned into this complex story line about forbidden love, a bit West Side Story-esque, and Romeo and Juliet inspired, but then I realized that I couldn't get it done in time and decided to shelve the story for better circumstances for now.

So that meant I had to come up with a back-up plan. I chose a topic that was my original first idea, which I'm sure if it were ever to come true would just set hell loose. "What if everyone never lied?" The story I ended typing out last-minute was a bit rushed, but the idea of course was solid. And when I was writing down the closing conversation, things really hit home. I won't post the whole story, but I'll quote the end bit.

“Why? Did anyone bully you? Say something mean?”

            “Yes… and no. I don’t know. When people speak their mind, bad things can come out of it. Just because you don’t like what they say, it doesn’t mean they’re wrong, does it?”

            “Even if they are right, you can’t let what anybody says bring you down, hun. What they say doesn’t matter.”

            “No, Mom, what they say does matter. And that’s kind of what sucks. You can have such a good attitude at whatever they throw at you, but that doesn’t change the way they treat you. And they tell people what they think and some people buy it. And they start treating you differently, too.”

            Her mother squeezed her as she said this, understanding her pain and not quite sure on how to respond. “But, I learned something from today. The truth can hurt. More often than not. And I took the truth today with a spoonful of sugar and am now stronger because of it. And it’ll be more than satisfying when I prove those people wrong.”

            Amelia lifted her head and looked at her mother’s face. “I also learned that when some people don’t tell the truth, it’s because they’re just looking out for you. They just care. It’s one of the benefits of lying, I guess. You can spare a person’s feeling, but still push them to be the best. You don’t say the complete truth, because you know it would destroy them. And that’s the last thing you want to do.”

September, September, September.

Hey, it's me, Kai, blogging to you from a classified located. Otherwise known as my living room. Hahaha.

Well, guess what? Today is the 8th of September. If you know me personally, or read this blog before, then you probably know the... significance of this date.

Last year, on this date, in just a few minutes, exactly at 6 pm, a guy asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend. And I said, Yes.

So here we are, a year later. I always pictured this day a bit differently. My blind optimism always told me that we would make it to a year. But now, this day is actually exactly 2 months since he broke up with me. No, I'm not gonna get emo on you here. I actually didn't realize what the date was until just a few minutes ago, and you'd think realizing something like that would make feel at least a little nostalgic, but I don't. Not at all. Maybe I am faring a whole lot better than I thought.

Out of the 12 months in a year, I guess September is one of my favorites. 8-9-10 was a huge event in my life, and comeing full circle, it's been one hell of a year. But also a lot of big things happen this month.

This year, on September 8, 2011, FASHION'S NIGHT OUT which is an event I just learned off, but sounds totally awesome, is taking place. Oh, it's also Pink's birthday!

The 2010 Grammys were in September (I think). They have a band called The Septembers. There's the song "Wake Me Up When September Ends" by Green Day. Even Daughtry has a "September" song. There's 9/11 (okay, that's more of a tragedy than happy event). Most importantly, it's usually the start of Autumn! Cooler days, who wouldn't welcome that?

I guess my mainpoint is, there are moments that will forever be engraved into you memory, and there's nothing wrong with that. Happy moments, are worth treasuring. Crappy moments? Well, you'd wanna forget them, but they usually are a bit scarring.

But inspite of those crappy moments, they're are a lot of happy/uplifting things that happened. So, just remember to look at the brighter side of life.

Cheers!

Update: Hey, it's the ninth now, and when I think about it, there's TONS more good stuff coming up this September! The premiere of Glee! season 3 on the 20th, yesterday on the eight (lucky me) Cameron Mitchell put out a new Youtube video of him singing, Blackbird! I always wish I could get a nicely recorded version of just him singing songs he sang on the Glee Project. This is also the last chance song he sang the night he decided to leave the competition. He sounds great <3 and looks a tad better after his haircut haha :)

And yeah, today is 9th of September and I just found out (thanks to Tumblr) that today is DAMIAN JOSEPH MCGINTY'S 19TH BIRTHDAY!! Happy birthday, Irish Boy! Can't wait to see you on Glee! All the best, never lose your youthful spirit and charming smile! Love, you! :D

UpdateUpdate:

OH MY GOD! HOW COULD I FORGET THAT SEPTEMBER 9TH WAS ALSO MICHAEL BUBLE'S BIRTHDAY? I FEEL LIKE SUCH A HORRIBLE FAN! D:

Michael Buble. We're talking about the guy who's voice pulled me into the wonderful world called jazz music, and whose Crazy Love album was the first music CD I ever bought. HAPPY 36TH BIRTHDAY MICHAEL BUBLE! 36? He doesn't look a day over 20. He's having a new album out in October, called "Christmas", so it looks like Christmas cheer is coming to town early this year :)

And the fact that he and Damian share a birthday is amazing. Michael Buble is a huge star and a great singer in my eyes, but he isn't really shown much in the media and the public eye, so I guess I forgot about him lately. And once I saw Damian and heard him sing, I was like 'He's the new Michael Buble!' and he's whole youthful spirit will bring in a new life into this jazzy, swing genre they both do. All the best for both <3

--Karin Novelia, Snuggling Up for Autumn ;)

WHEEEEE! (or Things I'm Currently Obsessing Over)

(Originally posted on my Tumblr, writewordstosay.tumblr.com. Go check it out! :D)

1. Michael Buble's "Haven't Met You Yet" has become my life's anthem B)

2. TOMMOROW NIGHT THE GLEE PROJECT FINALE'S IS AIRING IN ASIA! WEEEEE! :D Though I'm still confused why it has popped up on DVD. I should've watched it by now. TEAM DAMIAN! ;)

3. Speaking of The Glee Project: CAMERON!! D': HE SHOULD'VE BEEN IN THE FINALE! As much as I respect and admire his decision to leave, he should still be on Glee! The show needs a conservative, goody-two-shoes nerd I can look up to! RYAN MURPHY, I don't care if you should follow the competition's rule, PUT CAMERON ON THE SHOW!

4. All of the above has just reminded me: just saw the video of Cameron and Damian singing "Haven't Met You Yet"! They sound awesome together! Congrats to Cameron for winning the fan favorite <3

5. Let us all hail the talent that is GREYSON CHANCE <3 <3 <3 A friend of mine recommended his "Unfriend You" which sort of hit home, and now I looked up his video on Youtube performing "Waiting Outside The Lines" and he is so talented. And younger me. Wow. His piano skills, we're apparent from his first break when people watched him performing Gaga's Paparazzi, but now hearing him sing and original song... Kudos, man. Kudos.

--Karin Novelia, Possibly Having OCD

Life Mottos

Life’s a complicated, fickle little thing but hey somehow I’ve gotten by.

Lesson learned and all that. It’s nice to have some life mottos to live by.

Here’s a few of mine! :)

1). Always be the better person… even if that means letting yourself get hurt along the way.

2). Say no to arrogance, just cuz you’re on top today, doesn’t mean you can’t be on the bottom tommorow.

3) Friendship before love. It’s easier to ‘forgive and forget’ with friends than lovers.

4) Writing can change the world. Express things you’re afraid to say onto pen and paper.

5) Life’s too short to hide your feelings. Go out there and tell someone that you care about them :)

--Karin Novelia, Living Life :)

A Quick Apology

Hey, readers! Sorry, guys, I know I haven't been posting a lot lately. I've been way busy with projects and my Block Tests, but since most of my projects will be out of the way tomorrow, I'll try to commit myself to making daily posts about whatever's on my mind. The might not be works of poetry like the others, but at least I can get off what's on my mind.

Again, way busy, and even though I have tons I want to write about, I simply can't find the time. I've made a whole new post just now, so I'll try to have it up in a bit. Keep on reading!

Signed,

Sir Writes-A-Lot