Conflicts of the Heart

I feel really scared right now as I write this post. I feel depressed but also excited. I know it's contradictory, but it's the kind of feeling that leaves you guessing. Leaves you wondering. Leaves you worrying.

I usually don't get all emotional, especially in front of others. Maybe I shed a tear or two, during a retreat/recollection but rarely to the point were the whole dam breaks, leaving behind a giant wad of wet and used tissue.

This happened last night and the decision to seperate this from the AYC post was to give this news its own spotlight because it seemed to change a lot.

Once we got home after the whole day of AYC work and shopping, we headed back to the hotel and immediately convened in room 426.

I could feel the tension rise in the room, as the Laurensia kids walked in. We recently got some bad news. Mrs Anton, a biology teacher at Santa Laurensia was recently admitted into the hospital due to liver problems.

We prayed for her, as we held our Rosary necklaces, sharing our hopes, our experiences with her and also our regrets. Personally, I don't know Mrs Anton all that well. She teaches biology for the 8th grade, except for my class 8A who was being taught by Ms Ira. 

But I've always heard such great things about her. Even though some said she was strict and stern, she was a teacher who cared about her students very deeply. The stories of inspiration I heard spoken that night, really touched my heart. I cried, not because I felt obligated to, but because I wanted to.

I've always been aspiring to be a teacher. That was also a factor that helped the tears flow. I want to be a great teacher. I want to inspire my students, the same way Mrs Anton has evidently inspired hers.

I pray for Mrs Anton's recovery, and that she may return to her noble job as a teacher back at Santa Laurensia.

We all wiped our tears, and took in deep breathes. It was time to lift the mood a little. Yudhi started off with a very important announcement. If I was right (which I always was) it was one that I was looking forward to all day.

It was the email, containing the positions of the YDLs for the convention. The results, honestly, were not exactly what I wanted, but at the time, after the all the crying and praying and closure, I got over it quickly. I realized that it was okay. I was still a part of something great. I could still make a difference. I could still change the world.

Eh... That was a bit melodramatic. Yudhi must be rubbing off on me :P.

So, huge CONGRATULATIONS to the Head Chairperson: Yudhi Andersen Bunjamin; Alternative Chairs 1 & 2: Jeffry Wicaksana and Zoya Marie Adiyasa; Secretary: Patricia Kay; Group Leader A: Kari Novelia (that's me!); with Assistant: Evan Goldwin;  and Group Leader B: Gregorius Erico; with Garry Reuben.

Huge smiles and thumbs up all around. Best of luck to all!

We also celebrated Mr Yudi's birthday, just a few pictures that I hope will become memories. So HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MR YUDI!

Feeling emo and restless, I stayed up late enough to finish the last blogpost. When I went sleep, I was still thinking. But when I woke up today, I felt confident.

Thanks for reading.

--Karin Novelia


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