A Link To The Past

Hey, 2nd post in 2011! You know the New Year festivities has really gotten me thinking about the future. My expectations, the endless possibilities. But, of course it also has gotten me thinkgin about the past. Like I've written down in my previous posts, one of the main things that happened in 2010 was the sudden spike in my love life. 

These are the tweets I wrote out when I found myself waking up at 5 a.m. last Thursday and opened my phone to read a super sweet text from my boyfriend who is all the way at Turkey at the moment. The thing is about getting into the relationship it seemed so sudden, such a blur, I couldn't believe 8-9-10 had even happened at all. But ending up with this guy... a guy I used to see a lot back in Elementary but never really had the chance to get to know... was it really I coincidence that we met up again now?

Well, who knows? The universe works in mysterious ways. Here are the tweets! :D

When I first saw you, all those years ago, I'll admit, I felt attracted. Though it was obvious you were crushing on someone else.

So you exited my mind. And there were rare days where I did see you and I did enjoy it. It's like everything stopped at the sight of you.

But we were always walking off in opposite directions. With our own friends, crushing on other people. Like we were in our own little worlds.

Middle school. We saw each other again now that we were in the same school building. Actually, you seemed to be everywhere. Always busy.

The first time I met you. Beyond just a glance, with an actual conversation. First impression: So Out Of My League.

I'm no expert in this game called Crushing and Falling In Love but at least, I know what I want.

You were exactly the kind of guy that I would fall for. And exactly the kind I knew was out of my reach.

So I guess I sort of... went against my own instincts and blocked the possibility of even crushing on you from my mind. Friends. For now.

Does it sound stupid to have fallen for someone, even unconsciously, within the span of ten days?

Not stupid, per se. Just foolish.

But it wasn't just any 10 days. It was the best 10 days of my life, spent by the 20 of us. And among that 20 was you and me.

If there's one thing I regret about those 10 days it would be the fact that, at times, I wasn't at my best.

All because of that one night that was such a nightmare, the repercussions of what happened still able to be felt now.

But you... you were always just there. You'd have your seat next to mine, you'd walk around with me, you'd stand next to me in photos.

Remember how we got so close? First day, USS. You asked to finish my lunch, and I let you. Then you asked again and again the next day.

In those 10 days, we were in a bubble. Staying abroad, away from the pressures at school and home. Free to enjoy the trip and have fun. 

I guess it was a once-in-a-life time opportunity, spending that time with you.

I hadn't even begun to realize my feelings for you until after we came back. 

In the car on the way home from the airport. Dark night, awkward silence. Then my phone vibrates with a new text message. It's from you. 

I refrained from asking the question that pops into my head when a guy texts me for the first time. "How the heck did you get my number?"  

I guess a huge part of me didn't care. I was glad you texted me. You saved my night.

A week went by and we were always texting. You were actually... showing signs that you were interested in me. I couldn't believe it.

When I told my my closest friends about you. How you acted towards me, how you made me feel, how "gw lw" became "aku kamu". They'd say...

"Maybe he likes you, Rin." Hearing that for the first time made my ears ring. It sounded impossible. Yet in the end it was true.

And hearing it, straight from you, that you did like me, that was a feeling like no other.

Honestly, I've never been in this kind of situation before. Where a guy shows interest in me first, and I guess, charmed me into liking him.

You are cute, I'll admit that. You're one of the most nicest-looking guys I know. There's something about your smile. You're... alluring.

The thing is, from what I've heard, you had this sort of bad boy reputation.

At first it was just warnings from friends. "Be careful with him" stuff like that.

From others it sounded a little more harsh. As if they were just waiting for this to end, expecting things to go wrong.

"Hah, you won't even last a month..." I once heard someone say. God, sometimes I'd just wish they'd shut up! Hadn't I made MY choice?

I did made my choice. On that day you chose to pop the question came my decision. I said, yes.

And since then you've surprised my again and again. You've shown, proven to me that I was right -- there's more to you than meets the eye.

I can now say from the bottom of my heart: I love you. And I hope that'll never change.

-- Karin Novelia, In Love With A Boy She First Saw Years Ago

A Year to Remember. Goodbye 2010 :’)

Well, it’s 31st of December 2010. The last day of 2010. New Year’s Eve.

So let’s take a look back at my #2010memories. (Check out the last 2 post, labeled #2010Memories for the quick summary of it all :D From Love, Friends, Family and School ;D)

2010. The end of seventh grade, the start of the eight. I know, I had high expectations for this year, and some of them didn’t really work out.

Bad times, good times. Wonderful times, unforgettable moments.

2010 has been a roller coaster. And I have written down everything that has happened in this past year, and soon, it about 2 and a half hours, 2011 will have arrived.

And if anything, this new year will the start of a new beginning. I mean, seriously, a completely blank slate. So, I’m gonna spend this blogpost, writing down my New Year’s Resolutions. I work best in organized thoughts so, let’s start with…

Family.

1). No more fights. Amen.

2). Spend more time with the family. Actually start letting them into my lives a bit, talk to them, be more honest.

3). Spend more time with my brother and sister. Help them out.

4). Start helping out more around the house. Like keeping my own room clean, for starters.

5). Keep more in touch with the big fam, all the relatives outside of Jakarta ;)

School.

I know I’ve let my grades slip a bit. And I’m honestly freaking out on how my 1st Semester Report Card will turn out. So I promise and wish that my grades will turn back to pristine conditions, and not let them slip again. Here’s how:

1). Spend more time studying, REALLY studying. Work out a schedule, showing what subject, what subchapter to study/review. Make it detailed and organized.

2). Learn to manage my time more wisely. NO MORE SKS (Sistem Kebut Semalem Haha -..-), CHASING PROJECTS SO CLOSE TO THE DEADLINE!!

3). ORGANIZATION! More specifically, my school notes! Really should tidy them up and right them neatly!

4). Sleep well. Sleep according to sleeping hours. Seriously, no more dozing off at school. Haha -.-

5). Pay more attention to my extra-curricular activities! Remember you signed yourself up for these Kai! So stick with them ‘til the end, even if their starting to become a pain!

5a). Never neglect WRITING CLUB ASSIGNMENTS! That includes possible upcoming VIER stuff!

5b). SCIENCE CLUB! Don’t disappoint Sir Didi again!

5c). AYC! Continue the after-plan! THE ENGLISH BOOK HOW EH?

5d). Modern Dance Class! Ekskul Kai, be there, no excuses, even if Yudhi’s forcing you to do something else say NO! (hehehe peace Yudh). Practice, practice, practice!

6). Kai, seriously. Do your Math Homework. Hahaha. No, seriously.

Friends.

1). Never forget the power of GPRS <3

2). Spend more time with friends! Especially my old besties, can’t forget them! :D

3). BIRTHDAYS! Can’t forget the important ones! Really put and effort into buying friends presents and giving them memorable surprises! :D

Love Life. Hehehehehe.

1). My Resolution on this? Well, I guess this is more of a wish. In 2011, I wanna still be with him. Until the end, make it through the year at least. Maybe for the rest of my life.

2). Show him I love him more often. Possibly every day.

3). Never let go of that “cheesy” side of love. Never be afraid to say “I love you”, “I miss you”, call him “sayang” or “sweetie” or “honey, even in front of others. Be a 5-cheese pizza B) Haha.

4). Be... more myself around him. Forget my inhibitions, let goes of my nerves. I can be me around him, when we’re alone, just the two of us, but around other people, I guess I kind of freeze up. No more of that.

5). Be more patient with this. Don’t expect too much. That’s worked so far, really, and he has surprised me again and again :D

6). Stop thinking about the past. Stop comparing myself to his… ex-es.

Personal Resolutions.

1). Give myself more credit. Stop underestimating myself. You can do better than this, Kai. You just gotta believe it.

2). Open up a little. Stop living in your head, in your own world. Let others be a part of your life.

3). GET OUT THERE! Start shaping the future the way you want it to be! Start becoming the person you could only dream of! Follow your dreams, your wants, your wishes! Dance, sing, maybe even cook! Anything you want is within your reach! :D

4). Stop living in the past. No matter how you miss, it won’t come back Kai. Just… start mapping out the future. Live in the moment!

5). Don’t let failure stop you so easily. If you fail, try again. If you fall, get back up. Get your spark back, Kai.

Hmm. I guess that’s pretty much it. I really hope that 2011 will become the start of a new chapter in my life. I’m fourteen, and God forbid, I won't let my life stop now.

And one last thing:

“HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! GOODBYE 2010 AND HELLO 2011! LET’S MAKE IT A GOOD ONE! :D”

–Karin Novelia, Welcoming A New Year