Spreading the Christmas Cheer

It's the 25th of December, or a day most people tend to celebrate as Christmas Day. I've had a wonderful Christmas holiday so far, though I must admit, the atmosphere is a bit... lacking.

I sent a few greetings to some friends across the water, specifically, from the Philippines. That made me think on the Christmases I spent back there. Decorating my classroom and the school with my mates. C.S.A. always was festive this time of year. Which made me start to see a huge difference between then and now. Perhaps it's the fact that Filipinos are mostly Roman Catholic so Christmas is a big deal for them. On the other hand, Indonesians are mostly Islamic.

Yes, this year, in my house there is no Christmas tree put up. No lights are hung, no tinsel and holly decking the halls. There is a paper mache snowman sitting in my room, but it's "melting" and falling apart. No carolers are trotting down the streets, and blasting Christmas CDs in my room can't go on all day.

But the thing, all those material things, though support and uplift the atmosphere, isn't what Christmas is all about. Christmas is a state of mind. It's one time of the year, where the world unites in a mood of feeling jubilant, cheerful and spend the day with family in friends, excecuting a ritual that fosters friendship, love and togetherness.

To have a holiday that conspires the universe to feel thankful and giving, isn't it just wonderful?

This year, I spent my Christmas at home. Nothing fancy. I woke up to find my Dad's home-cooking waiting on the table, the delectable scent simply mouth-watering. My Dad enjoys cooking, but it's a rare occasion, and to see him not working in Christmas day is also a blessing for me, this year. We dressed up, went out and tried some Italian cuisine at a local mall. We went shopping, Christmas shopping, together as a family. Nothing fancy. But memorable, none the less.

Christmas is also a reminder that there's only a week left in the year. And looking back, it's been one hell of a ride. But I guess I'm getting ahead of myself. I should save the nostalgia for New Year's Eve.

So, in the words of my favorite Christmas jingle, "FELIZ NAVIDAD, PROSPERO ANO Y FELICIDAD!". Merry Christmas, have a prosperous and happy year ahead! From the bottom of my heart, have a happy holidays! :D

Constant State of Boredom

Christmas holidays have come. I wasn't exactly looking forward to it, since I knew I wouldn't be going out much. And as I'm writing this, I'm sitting at home. There's nothing good on TV, nothing to snack on, nothing new to watch, and absolutely nothing to do.

In the words of the great Sherlock Holmes: "Dull."

I've even spend the last two days, over the course of an all-nighter that lasted until 2 am, to work on a Mathematics book that a group of friends of mine are compiling for some volunteer work. After the whole AYC thing, of course, I'm determined to keep our action-plan going. We're planning on helping their education, mainly in Maths, by writing our own book designed to help them get through their National Exams.

But the point is, I just started off my holiday not relaxing but doing work. It's not really suprising to me. That when I have nothing to do, I get this intense urge to do something productive. And those urges completely override any wants of watching TV, reading, eating or even sleeping. The last two just slow me down.

When I get bored, which is often, my mind goes to some pretty deep places. I think about things that, I guess, no one my age barely considers. I have always felt like there's something more than this mundane ordinance. All I really want is to feel something, do something extraordinary with my life.

I often say that I feel caged. Undoubtedly, it's true. Do people really think they have the right to belittle me? Just because of what, I'm a kid? Whenever I see people with talent, charisma, beauty and resources, the things that many people don't get a privilege to have, throw all their opportunities away, it pisses me off. I envy them, and berate them for being so stupid, so lethargically unmotivated.

I can't help but feel the need to scream just to be heard. To let the 'adults' see that I'm just not a normal teenage girl. To let them see that I have the motivation, the right intentions, the will to push myself and become someone that maybe comes close to perfection. Someone who will do anything to help the world, help make things better. A moot point, though. Words prove little compared to actions, so I'm left with these lingering silent screams in my head. All the while, I'm just searching for a way to prove that I am something great. Proving it more to myself, than the world, as I'm beginning to realize.

While I was working on that Math book, I kept reading back the first pages I wrote, summarazing the standard National curriculum. I kept on thinking that it was sloppy, rushed and just... bad. Perhaps, due to the fact that I set a pretty high bar for myself. But when I showed a friend, he said he was very surprised. He wasn't expecting me to have done so much in so little time. He also commented that I'm "damn good". Maybe I'm a better person than I give myself credit for.

I have a tendancy of brushing off comments like that. Like when someone congratulates me or give me kudos on getting top scores in my class, or for making a paper mache sculpture of a snowman, I politely say "Thank you" but then think "It's no big deal". Which really, it isn't. It's like no matter how well I do here, in my current environment, there's always something bigger waiting out there. Something more stimulating, more challenging.

I read on a Tumblr post once a quote that roughly goes like this: "Intelligent people are often depressed about the world, because they're they few people who understand how it really works."

Depressed. Now, that's a world that seems to have been popping into my head awhile. Not just recently. Ever since I moved here, there's always been this feeling of not belonging and being on my own. Not to say that I'm intelligent, really I'm not. I mean my Finals this term seem to have taken a nose dive. I may not comprehend algebra, or the property of cylindrical quadilaterals, but I do have a thirst for knowledge. A thirst to find somekind of meaning in life, which is starting to seem more obscure by the second.

I want to know how the world works. I want to go out there and explore. I spend so many days in the classroom, resting my chin on my hands, rifling through textbooks which I've read in advance, thinking that I'm learning things without being shown how to put them to good use. I daydream, thinking that I can do so much better. Though I enjoy learning, this pace is just too slow. I keep imagining myself in a life, where I'm being the best I can be. And I want that, so bad.

But for now, I'm bored.

--Karin Novelia, Feeling Dull.

Venting

I usually have random feelings, strange epiphanies and lots of opinions on different things. All these things on my mind also lead to intense urges to vent the best way I know how: by writing.

And posting such things on Twitter, seems sort of... trivial. The 140 character limit is also somewhat restraining. Blogger is pain to log in to. I have to get on my laptop. Tumblr, however, is easily accesible in my phone. (visit mine sometime: writewordstosay.tumblr.com)

So here are a few rants, reposted.

"One day, a girl fell for a boy she never expected she would go for. The boy never knew what it felt like to be desired, and all the girl did was boost his ego. So he looked at other girls, instead of her, and threw himself around. While he was chasing them, he never realized that he lost the one girl that could love him the most." -- A little bit on unrequited love.

"All I want is to live in a world where I don't feel caged, music plays 24/7, I'm surrounded by good food and good art, where my imagination can be set free and be allowed to make mistakes." -- Me, feeling restrained. And my dreams of a perfect life.

"I really miss those days as a kid where I would spend most of my time reading. It didn't matter where I was or what I was reading or how people would give me funny looks at the thickness of the novels I read. Reading, was how I escaped the world. It was my comfort blanket in facing reality. It was an addiction. It kept me from studying and doing homework. My irrational side didn't care. But I guess my rationality has matured. Now, no matter how bad I want to pick up a book, school and homework has become a top priority. Oh, how I miss being a kid." -- My thoughts after seeing my huge stack of unread novels.

Guess that's it for now. Writing urges are intensely itching, but hey studies call.

--Karin Novelia, Just Having a Lot of Feelings

A Little Appreciation to Get By

Hey!

It's been awhile since my last post. I actually have had a lot of urges to write, but school and all, no time, you know how it gets. I'm actually having finals tomorrow (Biology and Physics first for a change, whee...). I got bored and sick of studying so, here I am. Actually, I'm multi-tasking. I'm writing this while watching Sherlock (A FANTASTIC SHOW by the way. You reader, must watch) on my laptop and glancing at the latest season of Dancing with the Stars, while quizzing my friends tomorrow through chat.

Well, anyway I wanna talk about a very special day. It was the 25th of November otherwise known here as Teachers' Day. This 9th Grade year has been very interesting so far. A bit more complicated than I would've liked, but hey, I'm far from bored.

One pretty interesting aspect was of course the teachers. Having a few classes that were taught by teachers that were different to other classes sort made things a difficultly new experience, but I'm glad to learn how to adapt. My homeroom teacher, Sir Darma wasn't exactly someone who I haven't met. He taught biology for me back in 7th Grade, and my class 7F was the only one he taught. He's a bit... motivated and high-spirited, but his exuberance was something I hadn't seen in a while, so I welcomed his unique style of teaching. But his perfectionist attitude also made me glad that I wouldn't have to see him more than twice a week.

And when 9th Grade came around I was sort of beggin, Please, don't let Sir Darma be my homeroom teacher.

... Yeah, I barely get what I want. Haha.

So yeah, 9B, headed by Sir Darma. His ideas were always welcomed, at least by me, but the execution was a bit far out of reach. This led to the class slightly disliking his way of pushing us, demanding the best, demanding action even when we didn't completely agree with his plans or ideas. Even though I knew where my classmates were coming from, I sometimes just didn't like the way they commented Sir Darma.

It's nice to know, at least, that you have a teacher that cares.

Maybe my attachment to Sir Darma is a bit personal. I must admit, he did help me earlier this year. When I was lost, he was someone who offered a listening ear. And even though his advice wasn't completely helpful, I still appreciate his intentions.

And Teachers' Day really is all about that: appreciation.

My class starting to come together, pitching in ideas and making plans that even though were a bit last-minute was something that we wanted to accomplish together. We made what I liked to call: "The Wall of Superheroes" on our class softboard. We found images of renowned heroes like Superman, Mr Incredible, Catwoman, Batman, etc., and replaced their heads with the faces of our 9th Grade teachers. A bit comical, I suppose, but the whole 'teachers are Superheroes' analogy is something I find touching. We made a background of a city, and huge clouds in the sky with really inspirational quotes on teaching.

"A good teacher is like a candle. It consumes itself to light the way for others." -- Mustafa Kemal

Or

"A teacher affects eternity. He can never tell when his influence stops." -- Henry Brooks Adams

Sir Darma was in a bit of a mood lately. It seemed like he was fed up with our class. And it put us in a stalemate. We knew he was pissed -- he'd stop lecturing us in the morning like he usual does -- and was just so quiet, but we didn't know how to meet his expectations either.

So today, things would be different. They would be changed for the better :)

It was just after lunch break. We would have a period of Biology class, of course taught by our Sir Darma. So before he came out of the class opposite ours, 9D, we all held a red rose, some held candles and we form a walkway between 9D and 9B. As Sir Darma stepped out of 9D and saw us all lined up, I smiled when I saw his look of surprise.

When he came up to take the rose from each of us, we all recited a line from a personal letter I wrote specifically for that day. We told him how we realized his frustation of late, and how in reality, we do appreciate what he's done, all the time and resources he's given to our class. And how we want to start over, start anew and move forward together, better than before. The fact he said he was close to tears made me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

 "Teaching us maybe like a rollercoaster -- lots of ups and downs. But we'll make sure it's a ride you'll enjoy! :)" -- 9B to Sir Darma

 A day of roses, candles, letters and songs, it's been one of the most personal touching Teachers' Day I've been through.

And since I aspire, to be an educator one day, seeing that little treats like this might be in store for me... all the pain and trouble of teaching, is starting to seem worth while.

Thanks for reading!

--Karin Novelia, Appreciative Student :)

The Benefits of Lying

I'm taking a writing skills development class (or what my school calls KIR), and our assignment this week was to write about a weird/unrealistic scenario. It was a struggle to find the right topic. When I found a nice one, "What if people never aged over seventeen?" it turned into this complex story line about forbidden love, a bit West Side Story-esque, and Romeo and Juliet inspired, but then I realized that I couldn't get it done in time and decided to shelve the story for better circumstances for now.

So that meant I had to come up with a back-up plan. I chose a topic that was my original first idea, which I'm sure if it were ever to come true would just set hell loose. "What if everyone never lied?" The story I ended typing out last-minute was a bit rushed, but the idea of course was solid. And when I was writing down the closing conversation, things really hit home. I won't post the whole story, but I'll quote the end bit.

“Why? Did anyone bully you? Say something mean?”

            “Yes… and no. I don’t know. When people speak their mind, bad things can come out of it. Just because you don’t like what they say, it doesn’t mean they’re wrong, does it?”

            “Even if they are right, you can’t let what anybody says bring you down, hun. What they say doesn’t matter.”

            “No, Mom, what they say does matter. And that’s kind of what sucks. You can have such a good attitude at whatever they throw at you, but that doesn’t change the way they treat you. And they tell people what they think and some people buy it. And they start treating you differently, too.”

            Her mother squeezed her as she said this, understanding her pain and not quite sure on how to respond. “But, I learned something from today. The truth can hurt. More often than not. And I took the truth today with a spoonful of sugar and am now stronger because of it. And it’ll be more than satisfying when I prove those people wrong.”

            Amelia lifted her head and looked at her mother’s face. “I also learned that when some people don’t tell the truth, it’s because they’re just looking out for you. They just care. It’s one of the benefits of lying, I guess. You can spare a person’s feeling, but still push them to be the best. You don’t say the complete truth, because you know it would destroy them. And that’s the last thing you want to do.”

MAXIMUM EXCITEMENT = LUMOS MAXIMA!

It's amazing, really, what a group of kids can do when they come together. Even more so, when the results exceed all expectations. This year in 2011, Santa Laurensia came out again to host it's bi-annual event, the LAURENSIA CUP!

I feel slightly well, really guilty cuz I feel like I didn't contribute much to this cup, even though I had so much free time and wanted to help out, I just couldn't figure out how. I signed to be part of the public relations (Humas) division. My job is to announce the details of Laurensia Cup to other schools and hand out proposals for anyone willing to participate. It was a little touch and go at first, but we managed to at least fill up the minimum quota for the games.

What really sucked was that my tasks were focused up until Laurensia Cup started. Once it did, I became a mere spectator, even though I was given a "Crew" member shirt. It was like I was trying to find something to do, but everyone was already assigned to do this and that, and my offer fell on deaf ears. It also felt like I was imposing.

Enough of the ranting. Let's get on with the showcase!

The concept for this year's Laurensia Cup is pretty unique. We took on a outerspace galactic theme, naming it LUMOS MAXIMA! It stands for "Laurensians Unites in Diversity through Sports with Maximum Excitement". I love how every single detail is authentic and original. This really showed how damn creative Laurensia kids can be :)

The opening started on 5 Nov 2011, a Saturday. And I have to say, it was a bigger turn out than I expected. My dear mates, Kenny and Karina were MCs for the ceremony, and I'm proud to say they did a great job. There was a ceremonial cutting of a bouquet of balloons: red, yellow and blue floating up into the sky, a beautiful array of colors, all of them imprinted with the Lumos Maxima logo. We also saw the cheerleaders do their thang and even our local Tiger mascot shuffle :D

The match was a thrill to watch. Especially the girls' mini soccer! The Laurensia uniforms, I absolutely adoreee. Cute and spunky with it's combo of dark grey and pink, it stands out! They also played well, and ended up with first place! Basketball, was intense. Girls managed to get second, falling just a little by Pahoa, another school. A lot of people say that it's the girls golden age. The boy's were unable to grab victory this time around, but hey, that's okay! All in the spirit of sportmanship!

VOLLEYBALL! That was the most amazing sports to watch. So much on-the-edge-of-your-seat action. Only the high-schoolers had volleyball, and unfortunately the junior high didn't, mainly because we couldn't form a team in time. Like, I've said before, VOLLEY is something that is lighting my heart's fire, and hopefully I'll get better as I pursue this sport.

The bazaar and food available this time around, I think was more ranged. There was Chatime, Kebabs, a takoyaki stand, Hop Hop (those bubble drinks) and even Crepes. The merchandise the bazaar team came up was amazing, too. All the Lumos Maxima cups, Hand-clappers to cheer the teams, keychains and shirts were all well-designed.

The week went by in a flash. All of those preparations, and cutting classes in the afternoon to supervise the Cup and being given free time to watch the games. It was paradise, a whole week of going to school with minimum studying and maximum FUN! It was a little bittersweet to seeing it come to an end.

It's 12-11-11. A Saturday, a full week since the beginning of Lumos Maxima. There's this sense of things coming around full circle. The final rounds were played that morning, the winners made clear. And soon, 5.30 pm came, and the gym was starting to fill up with an eager audience. The decorations for the closing, were SUPERB. They gym was completely transformed into a out-of-this-world space ship. Outside of the entrace were a few food stands, and once you handed in your ticket and got a Lumos Maxima stamp on your hands, you went into this tunnel, that branched out to both sides.

If you followed the tunnel left, you would step inside the interior of a silver-lined spaceship. To you're right, you meet the brown-rocky terrain of a planet unknown. It was cool inside, the blast of the air-conditioners they put up on full-power. The walls of the gym inside were lined with dark cloth, representing the blackness of space. In the dance room over head, the windows overlooking the gym were covered with boards, lined with little lights that were shaped to form the writing 'Lumos Maxima'. Life-size models of the mascots, Terra, Myu, Kevin, etc. Screens were displayed on both sides, projections of images throughout the show to be seen by everyone.

The show started, and the curtains to the gym stage opened. A model of MAXIMUS, the Superior One, the top mascot hung from the ceiling, next to an astronaut and some twinkling stars. The back of the stage was covered in reflecting tin-foil, giving off a real futuristic vibe. The use of smoke machines, just blanketing the stage made me think we really were on another planet.

Most of the performances were from our own school. The cheerleaders were great, doing a much more daring routine than the opening (TIGERS! GO, FIGHT, WIN!), than the bands performing top hits. From "Do Re Mi", "Stereo Love", "Jetlag", "Mistletoe", "Pumped Up Kicks" to a medley of "Sunday Morning/Chasing Pavements", the musicians got the audience on their feet, grooving, jumping and singing along. The dance numbers were well-choreographed too.

My favorite performance was SPADE <3 From costumes, to the mixed-song, the choreography was on-point and just bursting with energy. Hope I'll get to see them peform again!

After the winner's announcement, then came the main event: WHITE SHOES AND THE COUPLES COMPANY! I did hear a few of their songs before I heard they were performing at Laurensia Cup, and they are amazing! Though I did notice that weren't well-known since their music sort of requires an acquired taste.

The night was drawing to a close. The MC asked the audience to step outside to the parking lot and look up. A series of crackling (slighty ear-splitting) fireworks flew up into the sky.

And just like that, a legendary night was over.

Even though Lumos Maxima is over, the excitement lives on!

Huge thanks and kudos to everyone who helped make this all come true.

--Karin Novelia, Still Excited!

Something's Coming! Something Good!

There comes a time in your life when it seems like you've hit an all time low, or just feel so lost that life seemingly conspires to help you a bit by giving you an epiphany. Lately I've been having a lot of epiphanies. Basically, an epiphany is a sort of deep, profound realization. When you think of something that seems so obvious and englightening at the same time. When you're trying to figure something out and get your act together, something in your brain just clicks and the puzzle pieces fall into place.

I, for one, have something HUGE planned. But the thing about epiphanies, this new solution presents new problems. Like, one, this enthusiasm and illusion that this is most awesome-est idea in the world, might only seem that way to me. I might be terribly alone on this one. And even though I'll fight to make this work out as best as possible, I can't do this by myself.

While I work a few kinks out, I'm also trying to stay hopeful. Because just the thought of all this makes my heart a flutter with happiness and my eyes sparkle. Something that hasn't happened in a while.

And trust me when I say, something's coming! Something good!

--Karin Novelia, Feeling There's A Miracle Due!