Off The Grid: Day 0

As the title suggests, I've decided to go off the grid. Not really cutting myself out from the outside world, per se, just minimizing the major distractions namely, the internet. No Twitter, no Skype, no Whatsapp. If any so called 'friends' feel a reason to reach me, then consider this a test of your resourcefulness.

Why? I haven't been feeling like myself lately. Actually, just ever since I got back from this 'outbound/retreat' thing I went on with my fellow Scholars. That story gets a bit complicated and for once, I feel that writing my sappy feelings down will not help me at all. Also, the date of my departure, which is actually just a month away, looms nearer and I want to make sure that I get my act together before I leave.

So I've decided to just take a step back and clear my head. I need to channel my emotions some other way. There's this fog that's just settling in. Like I have this gloomy premonition that things are about to go south. It's probably just me being my usual over-thinking, over-analyzing self, but I want to get all of those anxieties off my chest, as soon as possible, because... it doesn't feel great.

And holidays like these -- when Dad's off to work, the siblings and friends are off to school, and Mom spends most of her time outside of the house -- just feel like someone's decided to hit the pause button on my life. It's frustrating. The boredom begins to settle in and it's stifling. Suffocating. I'm waiting for something to happen, waiting for my life to begin again. And I can only restrain myself from flipping tables when there's really nothing I can do to kick start it.

Don't get me wrong, I don't just sit at home and do nothing. I promised myself to be a bit more productive while I'm in this little time bubble, and I think I've done a pretty good job at that. I've taken up quite a few hobbies (and am planning to start a few more -- call that obsessive, but I've never been good at just settling for one thing).

I'm still (trying my best to keep on) exercising. Though with Dad jetting off half way across the world, having no jogging partner has halted that front, but stretching and floor exercises have become a part of my daily morning regime. I've taken up drawing, which hopefully I'll get good at over time. I've even taken up knitting (for purely fangirl-ish reasons -- don't laugh. I am not investing in a future where I am old and knit alone with only my cats to keep me company -- though cats are awesome) Okay, wandering....

I've also spent a lot of time soaking in culture. I've watched a lot of TV shows, and a few BBC documentaries. I've been reading, quite a lot, I've even got my nose buried in this history book. And expanding my music tastes as best I can (though honestly, my amount of downloads is starting to become concerning).

But there's one thing that continues to elude me. One small little hobby of mine that continues to slip away from me, no matter how hard I try to recapture it: writing. I did just painstakingly write out half of the next chapter for a short story I post here, so let's call that progress.

To keep the muscle well-toned, I decided to include one exception to this off-the-grid premise: I am to post at least one blog entry per day, for the next 30 days or so before I leave, talking about anything and everything I feel like writing about.

I feel relieved now. Something about writing down your plans, your dedications, makes it seem set in stone, gives it a sense of finality.

So keep your eye on this blog. Hopefully, the magic will happen and I'll come up with something worth reading.

--Karin Novelia, Honorable-Blogger-Turned-Reluctant-Recluse


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